Dear your name here,
Thank you for visiting The Screaming Turkey and becoming a part of our thriving motivational community! When I created this brilliant, insightful challenge, I had no idea that there would be so many desperate individuals out there thirstily lapping up the wise nectar of my words. But there are, and it’s happening!
For the next 30 (or so) days we’re going to turn you into some kind of social self-help pariah. Be sure to tell your friends all about everything you’re doing and share every minute. That’s how I make the most cash.
We’re going to take a long hard look at your sad life, warts and all (mostly warts), and transform you into a rich, beautiful bright center of the universe.
Starting today, you’re going to start conquering the world… and getting back at your stupid ex who still owes you money.
It’s easy. So easy that you should have started back in high school instead of sleeping through shop class.
You’ve already done the hard part – which is to realize that it’s time for a change. It’s time to stop fretting about what you don’t have and all of the time that you’ve wasted, and start living for the future. It’s also a good time to crack that last beer in your fridge.
All you need is an open mind.
Do you sometimes feel like a dear caught in headlights? Do you live like your life is sleeping in a tent on the train tracks, and that loud bell is dinging but you’re just too lazy to shift your fat ass to the left or the right? Do you feel like you haven’t achieved all of your potential and thought, “Hey, I need a 30-foot boat with a little cabin in it, but I can’t afford one”?
Maybe you’re not a boat person, but you should be. Boats are awesome.
Your problem is not only that you don’t like boats, but that you’re missing your chances. You are not succeeding where you want, that is why you are here. You want success. That is what The Screaming Turkey is here to help you with.
If you want to change your life for the better, join our Facepalm, I mean Facebook group for this free, inspiring, life-changing 30 (or so) day challenge. Join our warm, loving community of shape-shifting reptilians for daily inspiration and advice… daily assignments… daily work… what a pain in the ass.
Change your mind. Change your life. Join our free course. It’s free.
1. Step 1: Join our Facebook group. Write your introduction. Don’t skip on the juicy details, but please for the love of Christ make it interesting and not a bunch of “blah blah blah”.
2. Take a look around you. Ask yourself, “What in the hell have I been doing all these years?”
3. Think about the good things that you have going on in your life right now. Cherish those few, small, positive things. Hold onto them. Spend at least $50 for a good bike lock.