Tag Archives: day 1

30 (or so) Day”Do or Die” Challenge, Day 1


“I see dead people.”
~Telly Savalas

Dear your name here,
Thank you for visiting The Screaming Turkey and becoming a part of our thriving motivational community! When I created this brilliant, insightful challenge, I had no idea that there would be so many desperate individuals out there thirstily lapping up the wise nectar of my words. But there are, and it’s happening!
For the next 30 (or so) days we’re going to turn you into some kind of social self-help pariah. Be sure to tell your friends all about everything you’re doing and share every minute. That’s how I make the most cash.
We’re going to take a long hard look at your sad life, warts and all (mostly warts), and transform you into a rich, beautiful bright center of the universe.
Say yes!
Starting today, you’re going to start conquering the world… and getting back at your stupid ex who still owes you money.
It’s easy. So easy that you should have started back in high school instead of sleeping through shop class.
You’ve already done the hard part – which is to realize that it’s time for a change. It’s time to stop fretting about what you don’t have and all of the time that you’ve wasted, and start living for the future. It’s also a good time to crack that last beer in your fridge.
All you need is an open mind.
Do you sometimes feel like a dear caught in headlights? Do you live like your life is sleeping in a tent on the train tracks, and that loud bell is dinging but you’re just too lazy to shift your fat ass to the left or the right? Do you feel like you haven’t achieved all of your potential and thought, “Hey, I need a 30-foot boat with a little cabin in it, but I can’t afford one”?
Maybe you’re not a boat person, but you should be. Boats are awesome.
Your problem is not only that you don’t like boats, but that you’re missing your chances. You are not succeeding where you want, that is why you are here. You want success. That is what The Screaming Turkey is here to help you with.
If you want to change your life for the better, join our Facepalm, I mean Facebook group for this free, inspiring, life-changing 30 (or so) day challenge. Join our warm, loving community of shape-shifting reptilians for daily inspiration and advice… daily assignments… daily work… what a pain in the ass.

Change your mind. Change your life. Join our free course. It’s free.

1. Step 1: Join our Facebook group. Write your introduction. Don’t skip on the juicy details, but please for the love of Christ make it interesting and not a bunch of “blah blah blah”.
2. Take a look around you. Ask yourself, “What in the hell have I been doing all these years?”
3. Think about the good things that you have going on in your life right now. Cherish those few, small, positive things. Hold onto them. Spend at least $50 for a good bike lock.

Dry toast, juice, and rigorous kinesthetics


15 Days to Freedom Blog Challenge Day 1
Istantul, 1968

 Dearest Zissy,
There’s a silent pall over the cottage these days. Since the death of Edmund’s television, that is. Now the poor old fruit just sits in his corner of the kitchen and drinks wine. He starts at around noon, when his stomach has sufficiently recovered from the previous night’s abuse. Then at around three, he sweetly asks me to go to the butcher or the bread shop, and, “Oh, by the way, if I could pick up a bottle of wine or two for our evening meal…”

Our home has become so littered with discarded corks and clanking bottles that I actually miss the squawking thing. The bakelite shell of the thing is still there on the floor of our living room where I kicked it off of the table. I’ve been told not to touch it, which is comical to me as I was never permitted to touch it in the first place.

In fact, I only ever touched it once, and that was with my foot.

Now it is a cruel monument to remind him that he will either need to pay attention to his life or go further into the bottle. He’s choosing the latter.

Nevermind. Better seen and not heard.

You might wonder what makes me so callous towards someone as nice as Edmund, or what caused me to destroy an innocent piece of household equipment. It would be difficult to try and explain because I simply can’t – except to say that I would like for us to live more experientially and outside of that small rectangle of white noise, which I believe is mostly responsible for keeping us indoors and away from the company of others.

While arguing this point with Edmund, our conversation became a pitched battle for idealogical dominance in our small home, with both sides slurring their words into nonsensical alphabet soup until we almost came to blows over whether or not we should listen to the radio more, ride bicycles or use cars, use organc soap or meditate, and get matching tattoos, and so on.
I’m only glad that there is no record of that evening’s conversation except for that unfortunate television.

So that is how it happened.

Today is the first day of what I’m calling my experiment in experiential living.
The house is silent. I’ve made amends with my friend. I’m having a nice breakfast.

God bless us all, every one of us.

-J. Ozawa